Seeley's mistake
by drsweetsgirl
Summary: The aftermath of The Pain in the Heart episode. Dr. Sweets' reaction to being placed in jail, to Dr. Brennan seeing his scars, and more. Spoilers for episode 3X15 and beyond. Warnings : m/m Slash, child abuse, non-con in later chapters
1. Moving Out

**Chapter 1: Tag Episode 3x15**

Special Agent Seeley Booth arrived home late after finishing up the paperwork involving Zach's confession and the Gormogon's shooting. He had also gone to visit the injured agent who the Gormogon stabbed while resisting arrest and had discovered he would make a full recovery. Unlocking and walking through his apartment door, he waited for the argument that would ensue.

Greeted by silence, Booth looked around his living room. There was no one in sight. Listening for any noises, Booth realized that there was a lot of slamming coming from his bedroom. Sighing, he made his way into the room without drawing his weapon.

Analyzing the situation, Booth's eyes narrowed. "You're leaving?" He asked quietly in a slightly disbelieving voice.

Dr. Lance Sweets looked up from the clothes he was packing into his suitcase. "You are more observant than most Agent Booth. What do you think?" Lance asked venomously. "Did you really expect me to stay?"

"Yes. No. I-" Booth stammered. "What do you want me to say?"

Sweets snorted derisively. "How about I'm sorry for thinking you were a serial killer even though we've been dating for three months, Lance! Or how about are you okay after I left you up in jail with guards who thought you had attacked one of their own, Lance! Or maybe I don't know what I was thinking Lance! No? What about I want you to stay Lance, I love you Lance! Can't say any of that can you, because you aren't sorry, you don't care, and you would do it all over again."

"I-I-"

"That's what I thought." Lance sighed and zipped his suitcase shut. "I'll get the rest of my stuff tomorrow."

"Lance, please I-" Booth started, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

Sweets brushed past Booth on his way out of the bedroom. "I'll get it on my way out." He opened the door angrily and momentarily paused. "I should have known it would be you." Looking over his shoulder, he yelled "Booth you precious partner is here!"

"Sweets. What's going on?" Dr Temperance Brennan asked, confused.

"Really none of your business, Dr. Brennan." He maneuvered around her with his suitcase and added. "Our sessions are cancelled and if you need help on cases…" He glanced over his shoulder where Booth was still standing, too shocked to move. "Well, just get someone else."

As he stormed away, Booth was finally roused into movement. "Lance! Come back!" He ran to the front door, but Lance was no longer in the hallway. "Please?" Seeing that Sweets was gone, Booth hung his head and stomped back into the apartment, collapsing onto the couch miserably.

"You are an idiot!" Brennan exclaimed after a few moments of silence. Booth jumped and looked up at his partner. "You and Sweets are dating. Why would you arrest him?" Before Booth could answer, she turned on her heel and marched out the door.

Dr. Brennan ran out into the street looking for any sight of Sweets or his vehicle. "Damn!" She exclaimed and pulled out her cell on the way to her car.

"Hey sweetie." Angela answered in a sad voice completely unlike her own.

"Hey Ange. Look I know right now is a really bad time, but I have to ask you something. Well, actually at least two things and it may very well lead to more-"

"Sweetie! Just ask. It's fine." Angela replied in an exasperated voice.

"Do you know Sweets' address?"

"Um, hold on." There were muffled voices on the other end and then Angela's voice came back on. "Hey Bren, I don't, but I'm going to put you on speaker because Jack does."

"Hello Dr. B."

"Hi Hodgins. Can you give me Sweets address?"

"I can, but may I ask why?" Hodgins asked cautiously

"Um." Brennan hesitated. "I don't know if I should share this information. Gossiping has led to trouble in the past. That time Booth slept with his ex and-"

"I will not give you the address if you plan on interfering with their relationship." Dr. Jack Hodgins said sharply.

"Jack!" Angela scolded. "Brennan wouldn't do that! And who's in a relationship exactly?"

"I just want to make sure." Hodgins hissed back.

"I'm not planning on interfering. He just stormed out of Booth's place and I figured it out and he seemed upset. I think they were living together. He looked like he was about to cry and no wonder. Booth arrested him. What was he thinking?"

"So you just want to check on him?" Hodgins asked gently. "You aren't trying to get him to go back to Booth or anything?"

"No. I'm just worried and I want to apologize."

"I think that's a good idea since there was no proof and no reason for the FBI to arrest him." Hodgins replied sternly, and then added. "He asked if he could stay here because he was living with Booth and doesn't have anywhere else to go."

"Thanks. Can I come over and talk to him."

"No problem. He should be back soon."

"Wait! Booth and Sweets were dating?! How did I miss that?!" There was a sound of a large slap on the other end of the phone followed quickly by an indignant exclamation of "Ouch!" from Hodgins. "Why didn't you tell me?" Angela shouted.

"Bye guys!" Brennan said quickly, hanging up as she heard Hodgins say "Angela listen-".

Brennan waited half an hour before leaving for Hodgins' estate. She arrived there in less than twenty minutes and was surprised to see a car sitting outside the locked gate. Getting out of her car, she spotted Sweets leaning on the gate. "Sweets?" She asked cautiously.

"I can't get through." Sweets replied, slurring his words slightly. "It won't open."

"Did you call Hodgins?" Brennan asked. Instead of answering, he pointed to a shattered phone in his car. As she looked, Brennan noticed a half empty bottle of Vodka. "Were you drinking and driving?"

Sweets frowned at her. "Of course not!" he snapped. "I would never-I've been here for twenty minutes. After the first five, I started drinking."

"Sorry. I just wanted to make sure. I'll call Hodgins." She pulled out her phone and dialed the number.

"He's not here yet." Hodgins answered.

"Yes he is." Brennan replied. "He's at the gate. His phone is broken and he's been here for twenty minutes. Also, you probably need to send someone to drive his car. I'll bring him up in mine."

"Damn. Tell him I'm sorry he had to wait out there. I just buzzed you in." Hodgins replied.

Brennan hung up and found Sweets staring at her. "Why are you here?" he asked.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"I don't want to hear anything Booth has to say. Couldn't he take the hint? I broke my phone after the twentieth phone call." Sweets replied, picking up his bottle of Vodka and climbing into her car.

She sighed and got into the driver's seat. "I don't know what Booth has to say. I left right after you did. Well, actually first I called him an idiot."

"You did?" He smiled slightly. "Then how come it took you so long to get here."

"I had to find out where you were. Then, I waited because I wanted to give you a chance to get here first." She explained as she drove up the winding drive.

"Oh."

Finally, they arrived at the house. Sweets stumbled out of the car as soon as it stopped moving. Brennan followed quickly, but it was Hodgins who caught Sweets when he almost fell on the steps. "Hey Sweets. You okay?" Sweets smiled gratefully and nodded.

"Did you-" Angela began, but at her accusatory tone, Brennan interrupted.

"He didn't drive drunk. He's been drinking at your gate for fifteen minutes." She explained.

"Good." Hodgins said. Looking at the bottle in Sweets hand, he gently pulled it from his grasp."How about I get you a glass?"

"Yea. Sure."

The group moved inside and took seats in Hodgins giant parlor room. Hodgins and Sweets collapsed on a large sofa, while Angela and Brennan did the same on the couch across from them. A butler came in and Hodgins introduced them. "This is Franklin. Franklin, this is Sweets and that's Brennan."

Franklin bowed slightly to them and asked."Can I get anything for you or your companions, Master Hodgins?"

Hodgins sighed. "Call me Jack, Franklin. We'll have drinks." He handed over the bottle and after everyone said what they wanted, there was an awkward silence while they waited for Franklin to return.

When the drinks came back, Sweets downed his quickly and the butler wisely left the bottle. To fill the silence, Sweets lamely commented. "You have a big house."

Angela burst into a fit of laughter, causing everyone to look at her. "That's is a gigantic understatement. If this house was any bigger, it would need its own continent." Noticing Hodgins frown, she added. "Come on Hodgie-poo. You have to admit that this place is enormous. I don't mind, but big. No. This place is much more than big."

Slowly, Sweets began to giggle too. Soon he was all out laughing with Angela while Brennan and Hodgins joined in. Finally the laughter died down, leaving Hodgins, Angela, and Brennan holding their sides. As Hodgins caught his breath, he looked over at Sweets and the smile fell off his face. Sweets' head was in his hands and he was shaking with silent tears.

Hesitating only for a moment, Hodgins pulled Sweets into a hug and his sobs became audible. "It's alright." Brennan looked over in sympathy, while Angela came over and put her hand on Sweets' shoulder.

Sweets pulled away after a minute or two as the sobs died down, tears still streaming down his face. He poured another drink and downed it again. "Sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for." Brennan replied. Angela resumed her seat and nodded in agreement.

"I love him." He said quietly. "Or I loved him. I don't know. How could he? Maybe if there was irrefutable proof, but for him to just- I don't understand."

"I don't know." Brennan replied quietly. Sweets looked at her questioningly. "Yes. I thought you might have done it, but there was nothing that should have made him arrest you. You explained where you were. I did not believe you, but he should have. He listened to Cam's gut instead of his own or the evidence. He knows better. I should have known better than to let him arrest you without proof. I wanted it over and I never wanted to believe it was one of the people I worked with. I let that overrule the evidence and I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry."

Sweets closed his eyes and shook his head. "I don't blame you. It's easier to blame the newcomer than someone you know well. And we weren't dating." He opened his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you that Seeley wasn't dead. It wasn't an experiment. It was vindictive of me and I apologize. I wasn't on the list of people he wanted to notify. He didn't know I would be the one to receive the list, which means he didn't intend to let me know. I was angry and jealous of you and I figured that it wouldn't matter in the end because you would find out at the funeral. That's why I pushed you to go. I wanted you to know he was okay. Sorry."

Before Brennan could reply, Hodgins erupted. "You weren't on the list! What the fuck is wrong with him! You guys were dating! Booth is such a fucking moron!"

"Hodgins!" Angela scolded. "Calm down."

"I would never do that." Hodgins commented. "How could he do that?"

"I don't know. He obviously doesn't love me like he said he did. I should have known. Who could?" Sweets replied eyes still closed.

"Who could what?" Brennan asked confused.

"Love me. Who could love me?" Sweets' reply was almost inaudible as he slumped into Hodgins, unconscious.

"Aw. Poor thing." Angela said softly. Brennan just shook her head. As Hodgins picked Sweets up to carry him to the guest room, the conversation turned to Zach.

"How could we not have known?" Angela cried into Brennan's shoulder. Hodgins almost turned back to comfort his girlfriend, but decided Sweets needed him more at the moment. He made his way to the guest bedroom slowly and tucked him in gently. Before leaving, Hodgins leaned down and kissed Sweets lightly on the forehead. "I could love you." He said quietly, slipping out of the room as a small smile slipped onto Sweets' sleeping face.


	2. Questions unanswered

**Chapter 2: Tag Episode 4x21**

Over the next few weeks, Dr. Sweets found that while he was still very angry and hurt by what Agent Booth had done, he could still work with him and the rest of the team. Booth apologized and Sweets accepted wanting to move forward. It helped that Booth went to England, giving Sweets time to adjust. Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth resumed their therapy with Dr. Sweets, ignoring the personal relationship that had previously existed between Booth and Sweets. Cam and the new interns were kept out of the loop because neither Booth nor Sweets wanted to suffer any repercussions due to prejudice. Things were getting back to normal for the whole team, as normal as it could be without Zach.

Dr. Jack Hodgins arrived at Sweets office late one afternoon for his weekly session which he had begun shortly after his relationship with Angela had ended.

After Sweets greeted him, there was a long silence until finally Hodgins exclaimed loudly. "How can you work with him?!"

"Um…Who?" Sweets asked his eyes wide as saucers.

"Who!? See! This is my point. I hate him, thoroughly hate him and you just forgive him and move on! How can you just forgive him?"

"Oh." Lance said, settling back in his chair and folding his arms in front of his chest. He averted his eyes as he replied. "I don't forgive him, but anger won't help me move on. I can work with him in the same way you can work with Angela. It's hard, but I deal with it and try to behave as normally as possible. There may be times that it becomes too much, but I remind myself that if I leave this team, I'm leaving more than just Seeley Booth. I would be leaving Dr. Brennan and Angela and Cam and you. So, I focus on the positives and I handle it. Granted the therapy sessions are difficult, but they have a very difficult dynamic, Booth and Dr. Brennan. So, clinically, I cannot let the opportunity to publish my book fall through just because I had a bad break-up. I enjoy my work and I am not going to give it up for some man who broke my heart."

Hodgins sat in silence.

"Can we get back to you now?"

"It's not the same." Hodgins said quietly.

"What's not?" Sweets asked curiously.

"My break-up with Angela and your break-up with Booth."

"Oh, how so?"

"He put you in jail. And he chose not to notify you of his fake death." Hodgins replied, anger seeping into his voice once more

"Both show a lack of trust, do they not?" Sweets asked all business once again.

"Yes, but-"

"And yours and Angela's relationship ended due to a lack of trust, is that true?" Sweets continued as though Hodgins had not spoken.

"I guess, but-"

"Do you really not see the similarities?"

"I don't-Maybe, but why do I hate Booth and not Angela?" Hodgins asked confused.

"Probably for the same reason I am more angry at Angela than I am at Booth."

"You are?" Hodgins asked incredulously.

"Yes." Sweets replied honestly.

"Why?"

"That's a good question. When you can answer why you are angrier at Booth than Angela, I promise I will tell you." Sweets answered evasively.

"That's really unfair. You're a trained psychologist, not me." Hodgins argued

"Life is wicked unfair. Time's up." Sweets replied sweetly.

Hodgins frowned, stood up, and left deep in thought.

Alone in his office once again, the doctor turned on his computer screen and smiled. "Time to slay some goblins."

One week later, Hodgins arrived at Sweets office thoroughly confused. As soon as he entered, Hodgins began to ramble. "I thought about what you said and I mean really thought about it, all week long. I don't know why I hate him. I just do. And I want to know why you think I hate him because I need to know and you are my psychologist and I really need to know because I am sick of being phony nice all the time and I'm going to hit him soon. So, tell me or I'll or I'll" Hodgins looked around wildly and picked up a glass paperweight from Dr. Sweets' desk. "Or Ill break this."

Sweets rolled his eyes and pointed at the phone which he held to his ear. "Yes, Dr. Brennan. I'd be happy to help you with the case, but as I'm sure you heard I have a patient here right now. So, I'll look over the file and get back to you tomorrow." He paused for a moment and glanced at Hodgins when he replied. "Yes, I am perfectly fine. And no I'm not in danger."Hodgins placed the paperweight down and quietly took his seat, mouthing 'sorry'. "Really. I can handle it. Yes, I'll call you after the session so you're sure I'm fine. I promise. Goodbye Dr. Brennan."

Hanging up the phone, he sighed before looking at Hodgins. "That really wasn't necessary. She's already all worried about me after the last case and now she thinks I have some crazy homicidal patient in my office."

"I'm not homicidal." Hodgins said indignantly.

"Well, I know that and you know that, but the last thing I need is her bursting in here with Booth thinking I've been murdered when really you are just frustrated that therapy isn't some easy fix like most people assume." Sweets said, frustration seeping into his tone

"That's not why I'm frustrated. I just want to know why-"

"I heard you. You want to know why you hate Booth." Sweets said angrily. "One of two reasons or both. First is that you value others above yourself. In comic books that's always portrayed as throwing yourself in front of a train to save a helpless kitten or baby or old lady, but in real life it just means that you care more about other people being hurt than you do about being hurt yourself. It can be a good thing when it isn't taken to the extreme. So, don't go all serial killer on us and you'll be fine. The second option is not as noble and good. You may hate yourself, despise really. So that you don't think that your pain matters and to distract from it you focus on other's issues and sadness instead of your own which you would consider insignificant. Either of which could stem from childhood abuse and you know I really haven't decided which case you are yet. I am rooting for the first though because the second could mean you're suicidal and I think it would be a major downer if you offed yourself."

With his rant finished, Sweets fell into silence and Hodgins sat stunned for a few seconds, before Sweets spoke up again. "I'm sorry."

"Um, are you okay man?" Hodgins asked hesitantly.

Sweets rubbed his hands over his face. "Yes. I'm exhausted and it's been a long day and Dr. Brennan is driving me crazy and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Do you want another therapist? I could transfer you to another therapist if you'd like."

"NO!" Hodgins said loudly. "I mean no. I trust you. I don't want to have to start this all over. And I did come in here screaming so you have the right to be frustrated. Plus you did just answer my question, so I can't really be mad can I? You sure you're okay? We can cancel tonight's session if you're tired."

Looking relieved, Sweets said. "No, sorry again, but I have to be here anyway to go over Dr. Brennan's file, so there's no point in leaving. Plus I'd like to discuss what I just said. It's all true, but it's subjective and that means I could be wrong."

"You aren't. I don't think it's the second one, but I don't like to focus on my own feelings, so yea it's easier to be angry at Booth for hurting yours. Hey, why is Dr. Brennan worried about you?"

"It's nothing." Hodgins frowned, so Sweets continued. "You say I'm right. So here's the deal. I answer your question, you answer mine."

"Alright."

Sweets nodded and replied. "Okay, she saw scars on my back which she determined were from my childhood. Subsequently, Gordon Gordon told her my parents died just before I came to work here and that my book is more about my problems than theirs. So, she came here with Booth and she shared a personal childhood trauma and forced Booth to as well and invited me to dinner. Since I did not share a story back, she now assumes that my childhood was too horrible to talk about, not that I disagree, but it is also none of her business. And she is driving me beyond crazy. Now, my question. What happened in your life that makes you think other people's pain is worth more than yours?"

"Do I get to ask a question after I answer?" Hodgins asked, stalling.

"If I get to ask another question afterwards, than yes." Sweets replied quickly, agreeing only so he could hear what Hodgins had to say.

Speaking quickly, Hodgins vaguely replied. "Fine. My father abused me. Now, my turn. How did you get the scars on your back?"

Sweets paused clearly uncomfortable. "My parents whipped me. Your father abused you how?"

"In every possible way. Did your parents abuse you in any other way?" Hodgins asked after answering evasively again.

"Yes. By in every possible way, do you mean physically, mentally and sexually?" Sweets asked in a quiet voice.

Not showing any discomfort, Hodgins replied. "Yes. In what other ways did your parents abuse you?"

Sweets shifted uncomfortably. "I think that's enough. You should go. I have to study this case file and-"

"Wait." Hodgins interrupted. "Wait. I answered your questions. Please. You can ask me another one, but please answer my question."

"In every possible way." Sweets said quietly, mimicking Hodgins earlier statement. He then stood abruptly. "Now leave."

"But-Wait. You have another question." Hodgins asked in a confused voice.

Sweets hesitated, then, eyes much wetter than before, he asked. "Have I ever forced you to talk about something you didn't want to talk about?"

"No."

"Then why would you make me? Please Leave."

Hodgins made his way to the door, but turned back when he reached it. "I'm sorry. I didn't-"

Sweets had his back turned to Hodgins as he begged in a small voice. "Just go. Please"

Hodgins left and closed the door behind him, but instead of exiting the building, he slid down the other side of the door, leaning against it with his back and listened to the inside of Sweets' office. After a minute or so, Hodgins heard muffled sobs coming from inside. "Fuck!" Hodgins mumbled to himself. Quickly and quietly he got up and ran from Sweets' office and out of the building.

Inside the office, Sweets had tried to control his emotions, not wanting Hodgins to hear his cries. He waited a few minutes to be sure Hodgins was gone before letting go. When he did, Sweets fell to the floor and let the tears overwhelm him, his body shaking from his effort to keep quiet, letting a few quiet sobs escape. Eventually his body calmed down enough for him to get off the floor. Composing himself, he called Brennan assuring her that the irate patient had not murdered him. Then, he settled into the file she had sent over, sighing and muttering to himself, "No sleep tonight either, I guess."


	3. Support from a friend: short chapter

**Chapter 3: Tag Episodes 4x25; 4x26**

It was months before Hodgins and Sweets discussed what had happened. Hodgins continued to go to therapy. Sweets continued to work on cases with the team. They interacted with each other normally, but both knew that eventually they would need to discuss what had happened.

Finally, after Booth's recovery from the coma cause by the brain tumor, the subject arose. Hodgins found Sweets in the hospital waiting room, starring at the wall. When he sat down, Sweets jumped.

"I can't go in again." Sweets said, looking at Hodgins desperately.

Hodgins noticed the dark rings under his eyes and the way his hands were shaking slightly in his lap. "That's okay. You don't have to."

"I can't go home either. It just reminds me that no one-that I'm alone." As he came to the end of his sentence, his words were barely audible.

"You can stay with me." Hodgins suggested softly.

"I don't-I can't-You're not mad at me?" Sweets stammered quietly.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Hodgins asked, eyebrows furrowing together in disbelief.

"I kicked you out of my office. You were honest with me and I couldn't be with you." Sweets replied in an even quieter voice.

"No. I'm not mad at you. I shouldn't have pushed you. You were right. You've never pushed me." Hodgins replied. "Come on. Let's go to my place. I'll have food ready for us and you can get some sleep."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. My house is big; remember?" Hodgins replied and was relieved to see the ghost of a shadow on Sweets' face.

When they arrived at Hodgins' mansion, Sweets could barely stand due to his exhaustion. Hodgins half-carried him inside and asked gently. "When's the last time you ate or slept?"

"I don't know." Sweets replied with his eyes closed. "Tuesday I think I had a bagel."

Hodgins looked at him dumbly for a few seconds before responding in a forcibly calm voice. "Sweets. It's Monday! Are you telling me you haven't eaten in a week?"

"I don't-It's Monday? I have to go work on that case for Dr. Brennan."

"Dr. Brennan isn't here. She went to-Never mind where she went. You have to eat now." Hodgins exclaimed, going to the door.

"Not hungry." Sweets whined as Hodgins motioned for Franklin to bring food into the guest bedroom.

"You're eating before you waste away. Here eat this. I'm not taking no for an answer." Hodgins demanded as he shoved a buttered roll into Sweets hand. As Sweets opened his eyes, Hodgins noticed they were slightly glazed. "Eat!" Sweets ate without comment and as Hodgins handed him more food, he ate without argument.

When the plate was almost finished, Sweets finally spoke up. "Please. I can't eat anymore. Don't make me please." He begged Hodgins.

Seeing tears in the other man's eyes, Hodgins quickly replied. "It's fine. You ate enough. You don't have to. I just didn't want you to starve to death. What's wrong?"

Sweets looked into Hodgins eyes and something seemed to register. "Hodgins?"

"Ummm…Yes."

"Oh, oh sorry. I thought-I'm just tired." Sweets replied, shutting his eyes again.

Hodgins looked at him suspiciously for a moment before joking. "Understatement of the year, my friend. Try exhausted and half-starved." He motioned for Franklin to take the food away.

Sweets smiled slightly without opening his eyes. "Not half-starving anymore."

"Goodnight Sweets." Hodgins said quietly, following Franklin to the door.

Just as he was about to follow Franklin out, Sweets called in a quiet panicked voice. "Hodgins?" Turning around, Hodgins looked at a wide-eyed Sweets sitting up in bed. "Can you stay?"

"With you?" Hodgins voice came out high pitched and nervous.

"Yes. Well no. There are two beds in here and please?" Sweets begged.

"I don't suppose you'll tell me why." It was a statement, not a question. Hodgins moved to the other bed and lay down, moving under the covers.

Sweets settled down as well. "I'd rather not."

Hodgins sighed. "Okay. No problem."

Sweets let out a deep sigh of relief and closed his eyes. "I will though. I'm not ready yet, but I will be. I've never been able to say that before. I've never told anyone, never even considered telling anyone. I want to tell you. I will tell you, but I'm not ready. Can you give me more time? Will you?"

"Yea. We have all the time in the world. Now, go to sleep." When Sweets did not reply, Hodgins looked over to find him fast asleep. "All the time in the world." Smiling slightly, Hodgins turned over and drifted off to sleep.


	4. Opening Up

**Chapter 4: No episode tag, mentions of past child abuse and non-con**

Hodgins had secretly hoped that Dr. Sweets would decide to tell him everything that had happened the morning after he spent the night, but he was disappointed. Three weeks had gone by and Sweets had yet to even mention the conversation. Following his lead, Hodgins had refused to speak about the abuse he had endured in his therapy sessions which visibly aggravated Dr. Sweets.

"You need to talk about it and if you cannot do it with me then you need to see a different therapist." Dr. Sweets finally exclaimed one day at the end of their session.

"What about you?" Hodgins asked bluntly. "You said you have never talked to anyone about what happened to you. I have. If anyone needs to talk, it's you."

"You aren't a therapist."

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't understand." Hodgins replied smoothly.

"I'll tell you some things about me, if you tell me some things about you. I'm not saying we'll get to my childhood, but I have other secrets. No questions though. I tell you something no one else knows and you tell me something about your childhood." Sweets offered quietly.

"That isn't fair. You aren't going to tell me about your childhood." Hodgins stated indignantly.

Sweets sighed and explained. "I'm a very private person. The fact that I am willing to tell you anything is a big step for me. I promise I will tell you eventually. You just have to give me more time. Let me work up to it. Please? Can't you just trust me?"

Hodgins took a moment to think before replying. "Okay."

"Okay?"

Hodgins elaborated. "Yes. Okay. I agree to your thing. You tell me something, I tell you something and I do trust you. If I didn't, I would not be here. Since my session is over, maybe we could go somewhere else. We could go to my place and talk."

Sweets hesitantly replied. "Um, alright."

"We don't have to Sweets. It was just a suggestion." Hodgins replied after noticing Sweets' reluctance.

"No. It's fine. Good idea. Let's go." He gathered up his stuff and put away his notes before following Hodgins out the door and locking it behind them.

Hodgins told his staff to take the night off as he got out a large bottle of bourbon and two glasses. He entered his parlor to find a very uncomfortable looking Sweets squirming on the couch. "Here." Hodgins offered Sweets a glass of Bourbon and sat down, ignoring the way Sweets jumped.

Taking a deep breath, Sweets took the glass and downed it in one gulp. "Thanks."

Hodgins laughed and poured him another glass. After downing two more, Sweets finally spoke up. "You sent everybody home?" Hodgins nodded. "Alright. You have to promise no matter what I tell you, you cannot tell anyone. Not Booth, not Brennan, not Angela, not Cam, no one can know."

"I would never do that. You can trust me." Hodgins relied quickly.

"I know I can, but I have a feeling some of what I say will make you angry and I don't want you to do anything about it." Sweets explained.

"Okay." Hodgins replied slowly with narrowed eyes. "I promise, but I can still get mad right? I won't do anything or tell anyone, but I can still get angry. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is." Sweets rolled his eyes. He put his empty glass on the table next to Hodgins. "Like you could control it anyway. Alright here it goes. Don't tell anyone. During that whole Gormogon thing with Zach, when Booth put me in an interrogation room, something happened…" Sweets trailed off.

"What happened?" Hodgins asked with clenched teeth and a forcibly calm tone.

"Well he put me in an interrogation room and left me there with some FBI guys. No I am not going to tell you their names. Anyway, he left me there until they figured out it was Zach and those guys, they thought, well, they thought I had hurt one of their own people, Zach. So, they decided to teach me a lesson. They turned off the cameras and beat the crap out of me. They avoided my face and arms, too visible I suppose. I got a couple of cracked ribs and I had a lot of bruises for a while, but I just ignored it. That's probably what made me so angry at Booth. I mean, yes he betrayed my trust, but he had to know what they would do. I mean did he even watch the tapes. Did he even notice the four hour time gape where they beat the crap out of me? I guess I should be grateful he didn't throw me into general population in prison, but how could he just throw me to the wolves like that? I don't know, but it's over now and I have no intention of ever going back there and I do not allow myself to be involved with those agents in any professional or non professional capacity." By the end of his story, Sweets was looking at his hands and twiddling his thumbs, waiting for Hodgins to have some sort of reaction.

Snap! Snap! Snap!

Lance looked up to Hodgins cautiously. Hodgins had a look of pure fury on his face and was snapping the rubber band on his wrist continuously. "Hodgins, please calm down."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Hodgins asked suddenly.

"I t would have been swept under the rug and I didn't need or want any sympathy. It was over, I got treated, and I wanted to forget it ever happened." Sweets replied, looking away again.

"I wouldn't have let it get swept anywhere. Dr. Brennan, Angela, Cam, me, and probably Booth too. We would have made sure that those assholes paid for what they did." Hodgins said quietly.

"I know that now, but I was so upset and overwhelmed at the time that I just felt like I was alone." Sweets replied honestly, glancing up at Hodgins. The look of fury was gone. "I'm sorry."

"You don't ever apologize for other people hurting you. Just don't. Please." Hodgins growled, the fury returning for a moment before passing again. Silence enveloped the room as both men starred at their hands. A few minutes later Hodgins spoke up. "I'm sorry. I just needed to get under control. I can't believe you went through that alone."

"It's fine now."

Hodgins looked at him for a moment as if he wanted to say more on the subject, but at Sweets' closed-off expression, he moved on. "Okay. I guess it's my turn. My parents were horrible parents, not so much my mother I guess, but she knew what was going on and did nothing about it. My dad raped and molested me until the day he died. I was 13 when he died. He would come into my room at night after all of the house-help had gone home. We never had any live-in help. The first few times I screamed for my mother, but she ignored me. Dad told me she knew what he was doing, but it didn't matter because no one would ever try to stop him. We had too much money to pay them off. He beat the crap out of me at least once a week and fucked me every night starting when I was five. They died in a plane crash, but part of me was happy because I was finally safe. I had nightmares for a long time, but they rarely come now. I lived with my grandmother after that. She was wonderful and she didn't blow any money like some would have. I had a good life with her. She never knew what my father had done and I never told her. She died when I was seventeen and I lived on my own after that. And that was my childhood."

Sweets moved closer to Hodgins and placed an arm around his shoulders. "I'm sorry."

Hodgins looked up and found tears in Sweets' eyes. "Don't be. What's done is done. Can't change anything now. My experiences made me who I am and I think I'm pretty great." Hodgins said, trying to bring humor back into the room. His effort was somewhat fruitless as his own eyes filled with tears and a strangled sob escaped him.

"Shh…" Lance cooed, moving closer still. His eyes met Hodgins as the tears fell. Knowing words could not express what he was feeling; he leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss on Hodgins' lips. Hodgins eyes widened as his tears continued to fall, but when Sweets started to pull back, Hodgins pulled him forward and kissed him back hungrily. After a few moments, they broke the kiss, panting and flushed.

"Wow." Sweets said, his eyelids still heavy.

"Wow is right. That was amazing." Hodgins replied panting. "I don't think I have ever had a kiss like that."

"Really?" Sweets replied incredulously.

"Yes really. Didn't you feel it?" Hodgins replied confused.

"I mean, it was great for me, amazing actually, but you liked it too? You aren't just saying that?" Sweets asked insecurely.

"Lance Sweets, listen to me and believe me when I tell you that you and I have just had the most amazing kiss in the history of the world." Hodgins replied honestly and intensely.

Sweets eyes lit up happily and he snuggled into Hodgins' side, merely saying, "Wicked Awesome."


	5. First Fight

_Thanks for the reviews. Sorry it took me so long to post. I'll try to be faster next time. Oh and I do not have a BETA, but I don't think I need one. If anyone thinks there are mistakes in this story, please let me know and I will fix it and if you think I need to get a BETA, let me know and I will consider it. Again thanks for the reviews!_

_By the way, I forgot to put this: I do not own Bones, all characters belong to fox._

_To ranchan-akari: I know Booth usually isn't portrayed in a bad light and I do love him, but during the episode where he threw Sweets in jail, I was really angry with him. And then, when I re-watched that episode, this story popped into my mind. So, therefore Booth is a jerk for this story. If I write any more stories, he may not be a jerk because I like the Sweets/Booth pairing as well. _

**Chapter 5: Episode tag 5x9-the gamer in the grease, slash, m/m, vague reference to rape/non-con**

After their phenomenal kiss, Dr. Lance Sweets and Dr. Jack Hodgins became a couple, a secret couple. Hodgins switched psychiatrists because Sweets refused to treat his boyfriend and the subject of their pasts had been dropped for the time being. They had been dating for two months when Lance finally broached the subject of revealing their relationship to their friends.

Sweets and Hodgins were seated in a beautiful, fancy restaurant awaiting their orders, when Sweets suddenly said, "I want to tell everyone."

"Tell everyone what?" Hodgins replied, nibbling on a bread roll.

Sweets rolled his eyes and took a sip of red wine before answering. "I want to tell our friends that we're dating. We've been together for two months now. I think it's time to tell everyone. It shouldn't matter. I mean, you dated Angela and I dated Booth and it didn't interfere with work. And there has not been a problem for us in these last two months." Sweets paused, waiting to see if Hodgins would reply. When he did not, Sweets asked. "Well? What do you think?"

Hodgins did not answer right away, but instead focused on drinking his entire glass of wine in one gulp. At that moment the food arrived and the waiter refilled their wine glasses. Hodgins thanked the waiter, while Sweets stared intently at Hodgins. Finally, the garcon left and Hodgins focused on his food.

Finally having enough of the silence, Sweets whispered. "Are you going to answer me?"

"I don't want to upset you." Hodgins replied honestly.

"And ignoring me won't upset me?" Sweets retorted, glaring at his food.

"Please Lance. Please. I wanted to make this night special. It's our two month anniversary. I want it to be special. I-"

"So do I." Sweets replied, pushing his food around his plate. "I thought telling our friends could make it special. What-Why-" Sweets took a deep breath and looked back up at Hodgins. "What did you have in mind for our two month anniversary?"

"I thought, you know. Maybe we could, you know." Hodgins replied with a small smile.

Sweets lowered his voice and leaned towards Hodgins angrily. "So, you think we should have sex tonight even though you clearly are embarrassed to tell our friends about us? That makes sense to you? Really!?"

Hodgins quickly replied. "No. I'm not embarrassed. I just don't want us to be judged. I mean I don't want Angela and Brennan to think this is why Angela and I broke up or for anyone to criticize our relationship. I mean, yea Angela knows that I'm bi, but that doesn't mean she'll be okay with this."

"They're our friends. Angela is over you and Booth is over me. And no one will care that you're dating a guy, so be honest with me and tell me why you don't want anyone to know about our relationship." Sweets demanded, dropping his fork to his plate.

"I told you why. Please, Lance I don't want to fight. Please." Hodgins said, running his hand down his face.

Sweets laughed quietly. "Do you realize this is our first fight?"

"Yes and I don't like it." Hodgins grumbled.

Sweets laughed quietly again. "I'm almost positive you are not supposed to. I'm going home."

Surprised, Hodgins looked up. "What? Why?"

"You seem to think that it's okay to keep a relationship a secret and I'm really not okay with that. And I'm not ready to have sex with you. I'm sorry, but I need more time before that happens. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you." Sweets got up leaving his plate of food untouched and walked out of the restaurant, leaving Hodgins in a state of shock.

The next morning at the Jeffersonian, Hodgins cornered Sweets in the parking lot and kissed him thoroughly. "You didn't answer my calls last night." Hodgins whined.

"I was angry. I am angry." Sweets replied placing a gentle chaste kiss on Hodgins' lips.

"I know, but you didn't give me a chance to reply." Hodgins placed a small kiss on Sweets' nose.

"Yes I did. You gave your explanation and-"

Hodgins interrupted him before he could start ranting. "No. You didn't give me a chance to say I love you too."

Sweets blushed. "Oh. You do?"

"Yes I do."

"Good." Sweets smiled and walked towards the elevator with Hodgins close behind.

Soon, Fisher offered to bring them to the showing of Avatar and their day of juggling work and queuing began. Fisher's comment about sleeping with 100 women upset Sweets. Later in the day, Sweets let the girl at the theatre flirt with him, but tried to get her off of him multiple times. When Hodgins showed up and left them there, Sweets attempts become even greater. He called Hodgins to rescue him from the girl, but Hodgins was angry and ignored him. When Hodgins finally arrived later that night, Sweets explains that he tried to get the girl off of him and that he didn't do anything with her, although she did kiss him before he pushed her off.

"I know." Hodgins replied smiling.

"Thank God! I've been worried all day that you wouldn't believe me." Sweets explained. Looking ahead he added. "Line's moving."

"Why did Fisher's comment about sleeping with one hundred people bother you so much?" Hodgins asked as they moved up in line.

Sweets blushed and looked away. "You noticed that?" Hodgins nodded. "Okay. I'll tell you, but we are not discussing this in a movie theatre. It upset me because-" He sighed and looked at Hodgins awkwardly. "Because I have not willingly slept with one hundred people and it made me sad to think about. "

Hodgins frowned. "Does that mean you have unwillingly-"

"Not discussing this here Hodgins." Sweets snapped. Hodgins stared at him in silence for a few moments before Sweets quickly said. "Sorry Jack. Just not here. Please."

"Alright, but we will talk about it?" Hodgins asked hesitantly.

"Yes." Sweets said firmly.

Another few moments of silence occurred before Hodgins said quietly. "We should tell our friends about us."

Sweets smiled broadly before asking. "What made you change your mind?"

Hodgins kissed him deeply and replied. "You trust me."


	6. The story is told

_Sorry it took so long to post. I had to fix my Microsoft word. It should be faster next time._

**Chapter 6: Warning- Retelling of past child abuse/non-con, very graphic**

The movie ended. Hodgins and Sweets exited the theatre hand in hand smiling and laughing.

"That was great!" Hodgins said enthusiastically.

Sweets added, "Yeah, I wish we lived there. That place was amazing."

"I know. It was perfect, it was paradise. And of course the humans would want to destroy everything. At least there were some who wanted to save that beautiful planet. You know, I bet I know who would be behind the destruction if that were real. He's the head of a secret organization and…"

They went home conversing amicably about the film, while Hodgins exclaimed his conspiracy theories involving everyone from the ruler of Dubai to the meat packing plant across town. Finally, they arrived at Hodgins' mansion where they proceeded to kiss each other tenderly, ending all topics of conversation. Eventually, they ended up on a couch snuggled in front of a cozy fire.

"I suppose you want me to tell you what I meant earlier." Sweets said quietly, breaking their comfortable silence.

"Only if you're ready." Hodgins replied, raising his head from Sweets' shoulder.

"Yea." Sweets untangled his body from Hodgins' and stood. "I am ready. I mean I think I am." He started pacing. "Okay, here goes nothing. My birth mother and my birth father were evil people. They beat the crap out of me and a lot worse than that. I was lucky to get out. My mom and dad, I mean you know, the Sweets, they were awesome parents. I had a lot of problems, but they helped me. They took care of me. They let me love again." Sweets sighed and stopped pacing. He took a deep breath and looked at Hodgins intently. "I'm going to tell you, but I haven't told anyone before, so please don't say anything until I finish. No interrupting, okay?"

Hodgins nodded.

"Alright." Sweets began his trek back and forth across the carpet again. "I was adopted when I was six. Before that my _parents_, you know I don't think I can even call them that. I'm going to call them the Smiths. Anyway, the Smiths were evil. They probably still are, but I obviously don't know them anymore. So, I'm rambling. Okay, deep breath. This is what happened. Mrs. Smith would bring me down to the basement and tie me up. It started on my second birthday. Mr. Smith would be waiting with one of his _friends_. He sold me to anyone who would pay, sold me sexually. I don't know how much I was worth, but they got to anything they wanted. The first time, I thought I was dying. I didn't really understand what was happening to me. Mrs. Smith would clean me up afterwards and send me to my room. It lasted until I was five, almost six. Four years. By the time it ended, I had more than 200 men who had raped me. So, though my father sold me once a week, the other days of the week the Smiths would come into my bedroom and they would make me join them while they fucked each other. They said horrible things, told me I was nothing, a whore, that I enjoyed it. As if the sexual abuse wasn't enough, they messed with my mind. They said I was fat and would regulate what I ate. They whipped me a few times. My fa- Mr. Smith liked to choke me while he fucked me. And Mrs. Smith used a knife to carve things into me. I have a few scars, a lot of them have faded, but there are some that remain. It's not like I needed any more reminders of what happened, but I have them anyway. I don't like to get undressed in front of anyone. Booth never saw me without my clothes. I was never comfortable enough. I don't know if I ever will be comfortable. I had a girlfriend once who saw my scars and we broke up the next week. I always thought it was because I'm damaged goods. I really don't know if I'll be able to let you see me like that, see my scars, my body. I just don't know, sorry."

"Don't' you dare apologize!" Hodgins exploded unexpectedly. "I know you said not to interrupt, but there is no reason for you to be sorry. Nothing you have said is your fault. Never apologize for what those evil bastards did! Just don't! I can't even- I don't know how to- Just please I can't handle you apologizing. Please." By the end of his little eruption, Hodgins was pleading and tears had formed in his eyes.

Sweets had stopped pacing and stood shocked for a few seconds before he finally said. "I- Okay. Just calm down. It's all in the past. I'm fine now." Sweets explained, sitting next to Hodgins and placing his head on Hodgins' shoulder. "It's all okay."

"It's not! They- you- I… I'm sorry. You're the one who should be falling apart, not me. You should be screaming, crying, something, but instead you're comforting me. God, I'm sorry."

"No. It's okay. I don't need to, you do. Everyone's different. I feel better telling someone. I mean, usually I just write about what happened, about what I remember. But, it feels really good to get it out. To know someone actually cares enough to listen." Sweets looked down at his hands. "I guess that's stupid."

"No, it's not. And I do care. I care a lot. How did you get away from them? I mean, if you never told anyone, how did you get adopted by your parents?"

"I screamed too loud after one of the beatings I guess. A neighbor called the police and they took me away. I wouldn't tell them anything, but there was enough evidence to get me removed from custody. They didn't go to jail, that I know of. I never checked. I don't want to know where they are or what happened to them. I didn't speak for a year, even when the Sweets adopted me, but I got better. Obviously." Sweets tried to smile, but it came off as more of a grimace.

"I want to make it all better." Hodgins whispered as he wrapped his arms around Sweets. "I wish I could go back in time and stop all of that from happening." Sweets started shaking. "Lance?" Instead of answering, Sweets' sobs became audible. "Oh, baby. It's okay. Everything's okay now."

They sat that way for a long time. Hodgins, with his arms wrapped around Sweets, and Sweets sobbing into Hodgins' shoulder. Eventually, Sweets stopped shaking and his sobs subsided. "Lance?" Hodgins asked cautiously. "Are you alright?"

"Yes. I'm awesome." Lance pulled away from Hodgins and smiled weakly. It didn't have the desired effect with his puffy red eyes. "I think I've needed to do that for a long time. Thank you, you know for holding me." He added awkwardly.

"Thank you." Hodgins replied.

"For what?" Sweets asked confused.

"For letting me hold you. For opening up to me. For trusting me." Hodgins explained, looking at Sweets with love in his eyes.

"Of course I trust you. I already told you that. What do I have to do to make you understand?" Sweets huffed, rolling his eyes.

Hodgins replied quickly, before Sweets could misunderstand. "I know and I'm thanking you for that. I love you."

Sweets smiled, the aggravation and tension leaving his body immediately. "I love you too."


	7. Moving on and the Future

_So, this is the last chapter. Sorry if its crap, but I have lost my inspiration for this fiction. I think I am going to switch to writing either Psych fanfiction or Supernatural fanfiction. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you like this chapter._

It had been a month since Sweets had found the courage to trust Hodgins with the story of his horrific childhood. Since then, Hodgins had been secretive and distant. Finally overwhelmed with frustration and worry, Sweets decides to confront him.

They were at the Smithsonian when Sweets walked up behind his boyfriend quietly before asking, "Why are you avoiding me?"

Hodgins jumped at the unexpected voice. "What?"

"Why are you avoiding me?" Sweets repeated, letting his irritation show, but hiding his worry that Hodgins no longer loved him.

"I'm not." Hodgins replied defensively, avoiding Sweets' eyes.

"Fine. Lie about it. If you want to break up, I wish you would just get it over with." Sweets said angrily, storming away.

"Lance, wait!" Hodgins yelled after him, running in his direction. Sweets slowed so Hodgins could catch up and then resumed walking at a slower pace. Hodgins followed. "Its not that I'm avoiding you. I've been doing something that will make you mad and I didn't want you to find out until I was finished. I was going to tell you tonight. Well, first I was going to ask you to go to dinner tonight with all of our friends, so we can finally tell them about us. Then, after dinner when we were alone, I was going to tell you. And I still want to do that because if I tell you now, you will be angry with me and I want to have a nice dinner with our friends before you break up with me."

Hodgins spoke so fast that it took a few seconds for lance to catch up, but when he did, he stopped walking and looked incredulously at Hodgins. "What do you mean before I break up with you? What the hell did you do?"

"Can we please have dinner first?" Hodgins said quietly, already guessing Sweets' answer.

"No! Tell me what's going on. Did you cheat on me? Are you moving away? Did you tell someone about what I told you?" Sweets asked, anger and confusion in his eyes.

"I would never cheat on you. I'm not going anywhere and I would never ever betray your trust like that." Sweets' expression relaxed slightly, but he still held an inquisitive apprehensive expression on his face. "Please don't get mad, but I looked up your birth parents." Hodgins mumbled.

Despite the mumbling, Sweets heard him loud and clear and exploded, screaming. "You did what!?"

Until this point, there had been movement and conversations going on around them. People had been busily working in the lab, but at Sweets outburst, everything went quiet and still. People starring as Hodgins stammered an apology and Sweets stormed off, leaving Hodgins to take the brunt of the stares.

Angela approached the stunned Hodgins, glaring at the people staring until they went back to work. She gently guided Hodgins to her office and sat him in her chair. "What happened?"

"Ange, I did something stupid." Hodgins answered quietly, voice cracking as tears escaped his eyes.

Angela narrowed her eyes. "How stupid?"

"I don't know. If I can just explain, it might not be as bad, but he left and he's going to break up with me. I just know it." Hodgins replied heart-broken.

"You're dating Sweets?" Angela asked surprised.

"Oh God, don't tell him I told you. We're supposed to do it together. You can't tell anyone." Hodgins said quickly.

"Honey, it's not important right now. Go find him. Fix whatever this is and then come back here and tell me. That way I can get all excited and tell you how cute you are. Go! Now!"

It took an hour for Hodgins to finally find Sweets who had been hiding in an empty office near his own in the FBI building.

"Thank the almighty purple elephant in the sky! I thought I'd never find you." Hodgins said in relief, shutting the door to the room behind him as he entered.

"Go away!" Sweets murmured, his head still gently laid on his arms, muffling his voice.

"No. Please. Just let me explain and then if you want me to go, I will." After waiting a moment for Sweets to say something and realizing he wasn't going to, Hodgins continued. "I love you and when you told me what those monsters did I was so angry. Not at you, at them for hurting you, violating you the way they did. So, I decided I had to find them. I had a lot of reasons. Mostly, I wanted to see what kind of evil people could do that to a child. And I wanted to make sure they didn't have any children they were hurting now. I don't know what I would have done if I had found them. Killing them crossed my mind more than once. Luckily for them, they were already dead."

"They're dead?" Sweets asked, looking up.

Hodgins sat down next to Sweets and wiped the tears off his face. "Yeah, they're dead."

"How?" Sweets asked, not sure he wanted the answer.

"Apparently, a neighborhood kid went missing and the father of the kid thought that they were responsible. He shot them both. They died instantly. The kid was found later in their basement, but he hadn't been hurt. The father was right and he saved his kid. Unfortunately for him, he's in jail, but his kid is safe." Hodgins explained.

"Fuck."

"Yea. I'm sorry Sweets. I should have told you. I should have never gone searching for them like that, but I can't change that now. Please don't leave me over this. Can we please just go have a nice dinner and tell everyone about us and have a great life together and live happily ever after? Please?" He was begging earnestly by the time he was finished.

"Yes. Yes we can. I think I overreacted slightly." Sweets smiled hesitantly. "I know why All I could think was that you had told them where I was. It was irrational. I'm sorry. I do want to be with you. I do want to tell everyone. And I don't ever want to break up with you."

"I don't think it was irrational, but I would never do that. I could never see you hurt like that. Don't be sorry. I'm the one who acted like an ass for a month and then dropped a bomb like that without fully explaining. I love you. I don't ever want to break up with you either." Hodgins said, placing a gentle kiss on Sweets' lips.

"This is one crazy sappy moment Jack." Sweets commented with a giggle.

"It really is."

"So, enough of that. Let's go invite everyone to dinner and proclaim our love to the world." Sweets said dramatically.

"After you my love." Hodgins gestured wildly, bowing slightly while holding open the door.

Sweets rolled his eyes, but said firmly. "Never do that again. You look ridiculous."

Hodgins laughed and kissed Sweets fully. "I only look ridiculous for you Lance."

_I may have a follow-up one-shot about how dinner went at some point, but currently this is the ending. I have lost my Bones fanfiction writing inspiration. I know this was a ridiculous ending and please feel free to comment about its ridiculousness, or if you liked it. I think it's kind of sweet, but others might hate it. Anyway, I love comments. They make me feel special!_


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